Not really sure, (But you seem strange to me)

What is it about people that doesn't fascinate me? Something in their conversation, a certain sameness of speech, a trend of thought; something leaves me dissatisfied and unhappy.
You have to work for relationships. You have to work for friendship and understanding and clarity and all that, but really, at the end, why should I remain bored by you?
The truth is, I'm afraid that my past is inescapable, that people really are the same deep down and no matter where I go or what changes in my life, they will always be this way.
I'm so afraid of that. I'm so worried that the girl that I see in the hallway is exactly like the girl before her, or, essentially, the flaw lies within me. Maybe it's better that I don't know. Maybe it's the latter.
I think I prefer to believe that. It means that the possibility of change is still evident. It means that one day I might be able to let go of whatever keeps me anchored to the past, and see people as individual, unusual, and special. Unique.

I think that my problems are just like everyone else's, and that doesn't bother me at all.
I think I'm 100 % normal, absolutely positively. I can't let myself believe any different.


The facts are these:
She went away,
and I went away,
and she came back,
and I walked away.


I think it really was simple.

Some people aren't meant to coexist.

I want to sit in my house and not think of you.
I want to sit in my house alone with my lights and my books and my food and not think of you and where you are and how we were and what we could have been doing tomorrow, and certainly not of what you are doing tomorrow, and not of what I am doing tomorrow because it's the same exact thing that I always do-
Sit in my house, and try not to think of you.