Young Love: Just a Bad Idea?

Teenage girls are supposed to be deeply invested in relationships, crushes, flirting; it's one of those things that I think I should care more about but don't.
The last time I talked to a boy, he flirted and I blushed. I had a fever, and went to bed early. As he talked, my thought processes went something like this- when blanching tomatoes, immerse in boiled water, then cold. Peel off the skin, which should have become quite loose and easy to get rid of. It does not matter how messy it is, because Trish and Dad will be home late. Do the same with peaches, to use up leftover piecrust in freezer.
Also, I need to stop by the convenience store and pick up some butter.
Somehow, I dimly sensed my love life was a failure. Happily, the pie was excellent.

The thing about relationships boils down to a simple fact: most people are extremely boring. No matter how interesting they begin as, eventually most topics are exhausted and you are left asking each other how your day was.
"Oh," he says carelessly, "It was good. How was yours?"
"Mm. Good, honey," you respond.

Not exactly stimulating companionship. That's not to say there aren't millions of interesting, insightful people out there, but most likely they aren't teenage boys. Quite possibly they are a well of untapped depth but I doubt it.
I hold my friends to very different standards. Sadly, I'm more inclined to be forgiving of mistakes, ramblings and annoying little traits, the sort of thing that I couldn't possibly stand in a relationship.
I can picture it now:
The setting is my couch. I lean confidingly into my friend, who listens interestedly, eager for new tidbits of gossip.
Me: He –he forgot my Birthday! I thought-I thought we had something special. I thought we were different-
I'm his girlfriend! What does that mean for our relationship if he can't even remember that!
Friend: How awful! How could he possibly forget your birthday is…
Me: November 5th.
Friend nods, rubs my back comfortingly. While I sniffle, she jots down a note hurriedly on the back of her hand.

Sometimes, people simply are not compatible.
I remember talking to one of my guy friends, who had only occasional success with the ladies. Apparently, he and his new girlfriend of two months had special plans for Halloween. Both big fans of the Nightmare Before Christmas, he had purchased a small memento for her. I was happy to hear that everything was going well. He mentioned her 'hot friend' was planning to drop in the same night.
"We hooked up last week," he said. "But it wasn't like it was cheating, or anything. I mean, all we did is make out."

Sometimes, the two of you simply aren't on the same page.

Honestly, I don't think that I'm an expert on anything. I'm certainly not qualified to give people advice, but sometimes they're just too close to see anything.

My professor said something last week that strongly reminded me of this. She was talking about a Chuck Close painting, and she said, "When you're right up close to it you can see all the little details and how it's made and how beautiful the brush strokes are, but you can only see that it's a painting of a man or even what he looks like from far away."

For instance, two eighteen year olds who have been together for many years decide to get married. Onlookers are doubtful, but even the two families are confident in their closeness and the unique nature of their bond. These kids are different, they say. They really love each other. They want to make it work.

Arguably, both are equally handicapped. The families lack perspective, and the onlookers lack insight.

Then again, marriage is a complex business. I don't know anything about it.

The closest person I know who's ever had a brush with marriage, or at least the idea of it is my sister. When she was thirteen, my father got remarried. Naturally, this put everyone in the family in a good mood. The only thing they were remotely bothered by was that his bride wasn't Vietnamese as well- a forgivable lapse, they said. For this special occasion my great aunt came out to give her blessing. She saw my sister and was impressed. Eager to extend this good fortune, she and my grandmother began to discuss a potential alliance for my sister and a young, distantly related doctor. Somehow, they managed to procure a picture of my sister and sent it to the doctor, who was fairly pleased with it. Everyone seemed to be happy.

The Doctor had graduated medical school already, and was just beginning to establish himself. He was upstanding, well mannered, and a pure blooded Vietnamese. He was also in his late twenties.

(You have to understand; he didn't know my sister was only thirteen years old. Already, she could pass for sixteen or seventeen. Of course, right now she looks her age and she's lost some of her baby fat around her face. Back then she just looked like she had a round head.)

They had already settled quite a few matters when my aunt overheard and intervened. Naturally, my father said he wouldn't stand for it, and that was the end of that. Still, my grandmother and great aunt were deeply disappointed and that cast a sort of gloom over the whole ceremony, but by the end all was forgiven.

Except for my sister, of course. She thought the Doctor wasn't particularly attractive.

Anyways, relationships are complex. I just hope someday I'll meet someone who is interesting, kind, and unrelated in any way.